As the cost of living continues to rise, many families are feeling the pressure at the grocery store and gas station. Steinbach area counselors said how parents talk about these increased expenses can have a lasting impact on their children.
Michelle Peters of Beyond the Valley Counseling shares practical strategies for discussing financial stress at home without causing fear or anxiety.
Model calmness even in stressful moments
Peters says one of the most important things parents can do is be mindful of their reactions when faced with higher prices.
“Kids take cues from us,” she explains. “So the phrase I like to use is, ‘We need to lend them our cool.’ So if we’re calm, they’ll notice. If we’re anxious, they’ll notice.”
She points out that everyday situations like grocery shopping can quickly become teachable moments. Instead of getting alarmed or frustrated if the price is higher than expected, Peters encourages parents to pause and choose their words carefully.
“It’s easy to have a gut reaction of, ‘Oh my God,’” she says. “Such language can make children feel anxious.”
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Teach children about choice, not fear
Instead of using phrases like “We can’t afford that,” Peters recommends reframing the conversation in a way that gives children a sense of control and understanding.
For young children, it may be as simple as explaining that a particular purchase is “not the best choice you can make with your money right now.” She also suggests involving kids in small decisions at the store.
“Okay, this week you can buy some cereal, or some chips for a snack, or whatever. So, which one would you like to choose?” she gives as an example.
This approach helps children learn the difference between wants and needs, while also giving them a sense of participation.
“By giving them choices, you’re also teaching them what to put in their shopping carts,” Peters added.
These conversations can naturally lead to larger lessons about savings and trade-offs, she says, such as choosing a treat now or saving money for future family activities.
Avoid money-related confusion
Peters also points out that children often misunderstand economic situations when context is lacking.
She shares a personal memory from her childhood of being told she didn’t have money to go to fast food and later seeing her parents paying a huge bill.
“When I was a kid, I wondered what the heck we were,” she recalls. “We had no concept that … she would probably have to pay for hydro with that $100.”
She says moments like these highlight the importance of having a clear and consistent message when talking to kids about money.
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Managing reactions at gas pumps
Peters says the same principle applies when filling up your tank, as fuel prices fluctuate.
“What’s really important is just being conscious and just taking that breath and centering yourself,” she says.
One strategy she personally uses is to adjust expectations in advance.
“When I have to go and fill up, I just think to myself, okay, I’m probably going to jump,” she explains. “So, oh, okay, I think it tastes a little better that way.”
Parents can also involve their children in problem-solving by discussing ways to reduce costs, such as combining errands or carpooling.
Tackle financial anxiety head-on
In addition to conversations with children, Peters says adults also need to be mindful of their self-talk about money.
“A big part of this problem is just knowledge,” she says. “Having knowledge about what’s actually going into your bank account and what’s actually going out.”
She admits that many people avoid reviewing their finances because they find it difficult, but says that avoidance often increases anxiety.
“The best way to actually reduce anxiety is to sit down and check your bank account on a regular basis,” she says.
Creating a budget and tracking your spending will help you reduce impulse purchases and give you a clearer idea of where you can make adjustments.
“Having spending categories actually reduces impulse purchases,” Peters says.
Get creative and involve your family
In some cases, Peters says, families may need to look for additional sources of income or new ways to manage their expenses.
“This is a beautiful place where you can even take your kids…” she says, pointing to ideas like side hustles, home businesses, gardening, and even bartering.
She added that by involving older children in discussions like this, they can develop valuable life skills while contributing to solutions.
Challenge worst-case thinking
Peters also notes how financial stress tends to lead to worst-case scenarios.
“If you feel like you’re in a catastrophic situation…stop that thought and challenge it,” she says.
She encourages people to look for realistic alternatives, such as payment plans or temporary solutions, rather than assuming the worst.
“It’s about challenging yourself and bringing yourself back to reality,” she adds.
ask for support
For those who are feeling overwhelmed, Peters emphasizes the importance of asking for help.
“If you realize you’re just really struggling…talk to someone else,” she says.
She points to community resources such as the Steinbach Family Resource Center, churches, and professional counseling services as places where individuals can find support with budgeting and mental health.
Peters also points out that financial insecurity can be rooted in past experiences, such as childhood poverty or instability, and may require deeper reflection and professional support.
Extending grace during difficult times
Above all, Peters says, it’s important for individuals and families to be patient with themselves as they navigate financial challenges.
“What I always tell people is to give yourself grace,” she says. “Be kind to yourself. Things will work out. They always will.”
-Written with files from Corny Rempel.
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