4 expert-backed steps to survive the ‘anniversary effect’

Every February 11th, the anniversary of my 19-year-old best friend’s untimely death hits me, and I don’t feel the weight lift until the day is over.

The day you lose a loved one, have an accident, or experience another traumatic event can cause feelings of sadness, anger, grief, and anxiety, as well as physical symptoms such as illness and insomnia. In more severe cases, people suffering from PTSD may relive the experience in vivid flashbacks and dreams.

Experts call this “anniversary syndrome” or “anniversary effect,” and each person experiences it differently. According to the National Council on Behavioral Health, approximately 70 percent of adults in the United States say they have experienced at least one traumatic event.

“During these times, these emotions and reactions often become stronger and ‘undone,'” the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says. Symptoms may begin several weeks ago and worsen as the date approaches, the CDC added. It may continue for several weeks after the anniversary.

But these symptoms won’t last forever, and experts have identified some steps people can take to feel both mentally and physically relieved.

health rhythm

Obtained from the federal government–While the recommended seven hours of sleep each night is important, sticking to a schedule is just as important. According to the Cleveland Clinic, not following good sleep habits can disrupt your body’s circadian rhythms, which regulate hormones, digestion, and body temperature.

When your body clock is disrupted, it not only worsens the anniversary effect, but also increases your chances of developing anxiety and depression.

Therefore, stick to your sleep schedule. That means going to bed and waking up at the same time, including on weekends, the Mayo Clinic advises.

Alexandra Lessem, a nurse at Banner Health, says taking a walk in the sunlight within an hour of waking up sends signals to your brain and body that it’s daytime and “sets your circadian clock.”

If you can’t go outside, sitting next to an open window with direct sunlight can have a similar effect.

A balanced diet rich in fruits and vegetables is essential for good sleep. According to the National Institutes of Health, some foods naturally contain melatonin, which can make you sleepy, including cherries, pistachios, almonds, eggs, and fish.

It is important to drink plenty of water and move your body every day. Benjamin Baird, a research assistant professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, says just 10 minutes of moderate or vigorous activity, such as a brisk walk or run, is enough to get restorative sleep.

mindful medicine

Meditation for a few minutes a day can reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and trauma, and allow people to connect with their inner selves.

The ancient mind-body practice regulates the sympathetic nervous system, lowering heart rate and levels of the stress hormone cortisol, according to the Cleveland Clinic.

If you’re new to meditation, start with 1 minute and work your way from there. There are many styles, but some are easy to get started with, such as mindfulness meditation, which focuses on breathing or specific images or emotions, or mantra meditation, which asks users to repeat specific words or phrases.

Guided meditation – Following an expert, either in person or in one of the many online apps, can help beginners approach the process.

Keeping a diary is a valuable habit for dealing with the “anniversary effect.” It is widely used in therapy to help patients process painful emotions and focus on what they are grateful for and positive experiences.

The nonprofit organization Mental Health America says, “While it may feel safest to bury painful emotions and avoid confronting them, recognizing what happened and how it affected you is an important part of healing.”

social service

When a difficult day approaches on your calendar, reach out to your family and friends.

“Some people have been nervous about this anniversary for months,” Laura Murray, a clinical psychologist and senior mental health scientist at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, said in a statement. “They’re thinking about it and trying to figure out how to manage it. We sometimes describe this as being idle.”

Telling others not to bring up the death or traumatic event a few days before the anniversary can help friends and family who have suffered trauma avoid undue stress.

Make plans, even if it’s something small like going to the movies with your loved one or board game night with friends. “It’s important not to isolate yourself. Instead, try to be with others,” says the National PTSD Center.

If you don’t want to confide in friends or family, talk to a trauma therapist. These professionals are specifically trained in techniques such as eye movement desensitization therapy and reprocessing therapy. The therapy, first tested in 1989, requires the eyes to move in specific ways when processing traumatic memories. According to the Cleveland Clinic, you can improve your mood without talking about negative events.

It’s all about technique

Mental health experts recommend several tools that can reduce the anniversary effect.

If you’re feeling stressed or stuck thinking about the event, bring yourself back to the present by focusing on your senses: sight, smell, touch, hearing, and taste, says the National Alliance on Mental Illness. It might start with the feel of your clothes, the sound of birds chirping nearby, or the smell of food wafting from a restaurant.

“Then make sure you have four of each, then three, and so on,” the alliance advises.

You might roll your eyes when you’re told to stay positive, but according to the Johns Hopkins University Medical Research Institute, thinking positively can reduce stress. Watch some of these silly cat videos on your phone. The simple act of smiling or laughing fights stress by lowering your heart rate and blood pressure.

Or pay it forward and send someone a thoughtful card or buy a stranger coffee. Making others feel good makes you feel good yourself.